Flordia's Learning Data Analysis Meeting Transcript

Superintendent: The meeting to determine how we should justify going back to in-seat learning in Flordia to the students is now underway. Mr. Morransion, what do you have to say on the matter?

Morransion: Thank you, Superintendent. I believe we should go back to in-seat learning as it would be better for all parties involved. In the 1,987 years working here, I have never seen this type of learning done before, so it should be switched back to how I want it to be. This technology also always breaks on me, I mean, I try to check the grades of my students while I'm in the shower and the computer just stops working. How can we possibly trust this communication if it just breaks at random times?

Superintendent: Very good points made there Mr. Morransion. Now, Trandor, how would you refute his excellently constructed argument that perfectly lays out his side?

Trandor: Thank you, Superintendent. I would like to be referred to by my last name. I have been working here for 3 years so I find it a little disrespe—

Superintendent: Your time is up Trandor. Maybe focus more on the students in your time than yourself. Sir Morransion, now is your turn to layout your wonderful argument that is ever so elegantly put.

Morransion: Thank you, Superintendent. I have interviewed many students on their thoughts on the matter, and after paying them they were eager to agree with my side that in-seat learning is the right way to go. I feel as though that I—uh, I mean, the kids would be much more comfortable in the normal environment of a school. Kids love school so to deprive them of their right to be in it is downright child abuse.

Superintendent: Eloquently put your majesty, King Morransion. Now, uh, Trandor, go, do your thing.

Trandor: I am absolutely appalled at your guys' response to this situation. We are in the middle of a pandemic, we have students who have watched family members die from this disease and all you guys care about is how you feel. This should be about the students, not the numbers. And I know, there may be students who say they want to go back, but since when do kids have a clue on what they want. I know that grades and test scores might suffer from online learning, but that shouldn't matter, because our main goal should be protecting these kids, not our academic reputation. Maybe you guys became teachers to get a summer break, but I became one to help kids, to teach them the lessons I wish someone had told to me, and right now, we need to teach them that sometimes there are things that are bigger than themselves.

Superintendent: Wow. Well, I disagree, meeting adjourned.

Florida opened up schools for full in-seat learning and went on to have the second most coronavirus cases out of any state in the country. They continue to deny that coronavirus is a big deal despite it killing over 17,000 of its citizens. I sent this in Flordia so the Troy School District wouldn't punish me for this piece.